5. Neighbourliness

Have neighbourhood dynamics changed over time? You bet...

Image by Agata from Pixabay

Is knowing your neighbours a dying art? 😆

I’ve thought about this a lot over the years in all the different places I’ve lived in. I grew up in a small village populated by local folks whose families had been there for generations (including mine!). There were very few ‘new’ people and definitely no holiday cottages in those days. Everyone knew everyone – and everyone’s business, whether you wanted them to or not! But, looking back, it was a fun time, with lots of proper characters and a real sense of community. It was a bit like living in Ramsay Street, Coronation Street or Summer Bay – things always going on, like coffee mornings, church events, school events, exercise classes, community celebrations and more.

Things change…

Fast forward a few decades and eight house moves later. I’m in a different part of the country now. Have I ever felt part of a community like that again? No. Have I ever known my immediate neighbours? Not really. Well, not much more than to say hello to or take in a parcel for them. It was only when Office Assistant (our dog) came along that we got chatting with other dog owners locally. Because if dogs want to meet, they meet – regardless of what their humans want! But even now, there’s only one person who we know and go dog walking with sometimes.

It depends on where you are

I’m still fortunate enough to go back to the area where I grew up and, although I’m biased, it is still a much friendlier place than here. People readily greet each other in the street – and chat! But if I try to say ‘Good morning!’ to anyone here, they generally just don’t look, don’t answer or look at me as if I’ve lost my mind. My mum notices that too when she comes to stay.

We have ‘good’ next-door neighbours here though in the sense that they aren’t inconsiderate, noisy or worse. But I still don’t know them, despite having lived next to them for about 10 years.

This state of affairs seems to suit most people as they just get on with their lives. And for me, the area I live in seems fairly peaceful as I go about my day to day…

BUT - it’s a very different story online…

Community social media? Uh-oh…

I’m not on Facebook, thankfully. But my partner is, and he is (bravely) connected to the community Facebook page. From what he tells me, it seems like it’s a portal to a parallel universe where everyone has a front-row seat from where they simultaneously shout their own opinion on the neighbourhood ‘dramas’. ‘Tedious’ is the word he uses to describe the experience and yes, from the things he’s told me, I’d agree. What is it about social media that brings the worst out in folks? Apparently, it’s full of residents calling out ‘suspicious’ people they spotted on their overnight Ring doorbell footage (probably just stopping for their dog to have a wee), complaining about cars parking in ‘their’ space on the road, and having rants about mundanities like bins and things that nobody else needs to know or care about; a classic example being one woman calling up some business to complain and then doing a post to tell the entire neighbourhood that ‘I’ve been on hold for 12 minutes’. 🙄 [eye roll]

Random neighbour thoughts

1.     Creepy neighbour ­– Writing this has made me think of a neighbour we lived next door to about 25 years ago. He dedicated his life to Neighbourhood Watch, so much so, that whatever time we arrived home – from work, for lunch, from a night out – he would be sitting in his bay window, curtains fully open, arms crossed, watching us come into our drive. As it turns out, constant surveillance isn't the key to neighbourly bonding. Who knew?

2.     Sporty neighbour – Kids, footballs and fences. Say no more.

3.     Unwanted-soundtrack-to-your-life neighbour – There's something special about waking up to the sweet sounds of – wait, is that Bob Marley at 8 am on a Sunday morning? Other people’s music is an eternal battle for some, especially when living in an apartment block. A little consideration goes a really long way. Plus, there are these things called headphones…

4.     Lawn-mowing neighbour – Just as you get to the weekend and are looking forward to that long-awaited Saturday lie-in, what strikes up instead of your alarm clock? Yes, it’s the neighbour’s lawn mower – oh joy!

5.     DIY neighbour – Late-night furniture construction, anyone? Wait, you mean not everyone sinks a few beers and waits until midnight to tackle their latest IKEA puzzle?

Ah neighbours. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Here's to hoping for more dog meet-ups and fewer social media rants… 😉

Random neighbourhood star chart ratings

•          Neighbour’s cat’s poop in your garden: 0/5

•          Your dog eating the neighbour’s cat’s poop in your garden: -2/5

•          Having a great neighbour who you can call on to look after your dog: 10/5

•          Saying hello to people you live near to – and they respond! 10/5

•          Persistent presence of old cars with flat tyres in shared areas: -20/5

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So, neighbourliness – do we really need that?!

Have you got any ‘neighbour’ anecdotes to share? I’d love to hear them!

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